It Will Never Be The End
by Ruthyroo
Summary: Ste is doing some community service and guess where? Stendan of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Just to say I have no idea what's going on in the show at the moment so some of this might make sense and some of it won't…ultimately Stendan of course. I really hope this is okay as I haven't written for a long time.**

 **It Will Never Be The End :)**

It felt good stealing again, I felt in control and free, like nothing could touch me. Of course I was wrong, but I really didn't think I was gonna get caught. That's the thing with Sinead though; she wants the best of everything for this baby…can't say I blame her, not after Katie. I want to provide for her, for them both, but things aren't exactly great for me at the moment and I can't expect John Paul to bail me out every time. I had to do this didn't I?

I got off lightly anyway, 96 hours community service and a hefty fine. I guess anything is better than prison, which is where I really thought I'd be going; only it was just not behind bars as a prisoner. See my community service is to help out at the prison, litter, cleaning, cooking, general dog's body really. I didn't think that was even allowed. I mean don't they have enough prisoners for all that? I guess you could say I was dreading it. Being in that prison meant one thing…Brendan Brady.

I hadn't really thought about him much lately, which made a change, because up until John Paul I had thought of him every day. I guess I had got used to living in a world where he doesn't exist. At the time when he was taken away from me I thought I'd never get over it, but time helped. I never thought I'd say that but it did. I couldn't understand why he pushed me away, but now I do. I know it was so I could live again, live my life and be happy. He knew that I was strong enough to live without him; he knew that I'd survive.

John Paul is not happy about me going there, but I don't have a choice do I? Even Sinead is sulking around like a two year old. But I did the crime and now I have to pay for it and make amends. John Paul thinks I'm making the effort to look nice, but looking smart is essential as I have to make a good impression don't I? So what if I accidentally tipped half a bottle of aftershave down myself? It's not like I did it on purpose and besides it's nice to smell good. Okay so I might get jumped on by some randy inmates, but I'm sure I'll be okay. I can look after myself.

The bus ride there didn't take too long, maybe that's because my head was full of him again. How can I go from not thinking about him at all to thinking of him every second and all in a week? I might not even see him anyway, all this anxiousness, flutters in my stomach and feeling sick could be for nothing. He might even be in a different prison now. Maybe it would be for the best if he was. How is this even going to help me? I wonder what he looks like now; I wonder if he even remembers what I look like. Shit this is really happening.

After clearing security I make my way inside and get shown a list of my duties for the day. It's nothing I don't already do at home or work so it's no problem. I'm on kitchen duty before I know it with chicken curry on the menu. I look around immediately even though there are no prisoners in here, just some kitchen staff. I guess I'm just hoping to catch a glimpse of someone…of him. I spend a few hours helping cook the amount that is needed, when a bell ringing makes me jump and after that I'm told to go to the prison canteen next door to help serve the curry.

I'm petrified, totally consumed with nervous knots and anxiety. What if I see him? What will I feel? What will this do to me? I look up at the door as the prisoners start to pour in. They make their way up one by one and I lose sight of the door. Then I hear a familiar laugh and I look up to see him joining the line of hungry men. Him…Brendan Brady…the love of my life. My heart is in my mouth and I'm shaking like a leaf, even the prisoners notice, making jokes about me being scared and that I should be scared. I even got whistled at by a few of them. Then if I wasn't drawing enough attention to myself one of the prisoners shouts out.

"Hey Brady, new kitchen staffs a right pretty boy. Definitely up your street,"

And before I know it, I'm faced with him. He's really here and he's standing in front of me and he looks the same. No he looks better. How can that even be? He still has his tash but his body is bigger, more toned. I can tell because his muscles are bursting through his prison clothes and all I want to do is throw my arms around him. He is stunned, shocked to the core, but I can't take my eyes off him and he can't take his off me.

" _Steven?"_

But before I even had the chance to reply he is gone, racing towards the door and all I want to do is go after him, but I can't. It breaks me seeing him, takes me back to when I didn't know how to live without him. It's like the past few years have been erased from my life and all I know is him. How could I think that this was going to be okay? I did my best to compose myself, I still had a lot of hungry mouths to feed and I waited and hoped that he would come back in here, but he never came.

After clearing the canteen, my duties involved the folding of towels. A little job I could do on my own and to be honest I was glad of the time out. It had hit me hard seeing him, especially seeing him looking so good. He didn't fall apart either, time helped him as much as it'd helped me. We said we'd never feel any differently about each other, but maybe they were just words. I'm lost in my thoughts when he comes in the laundry room. How the hell he managed to even get in here I don't know…I guess he's running the show in here too.

I feel his presence before I see him and when I turn around to face him once more his lips find mine in an instance. He kisses me so forcefully that I'm pushed back against the machines. My back hurts from crashing into them but in this moment all I can see is him. His hands are cupping my face and my hands immediately grab the back of his head deepening the kiss. He tastes good, like coming home and our tongues dance together, moving to the same rhythm. He presses himself against me and it makes me moan into his beautiful mouth. How is any of this even happening? I'm certain in a minute I'll wake up.

One of his hands reaches down to the hardness in my trousers and he feels how happy I am to see him. God I want him, I want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. He undoes the zip of my trousers and finds his way inside, his lips never leaving mine for a second. He grabs my cock firmly and begins stroking me, taking me to heaven like he only can. He works me well, hard and fast and I try my hardest not to cum too soon, but then he breaks our kiss and replaces his hand with his mouth and after a few desperate sucks I've completely lost myself in him.

He tastes me, savours every drop and I'm left a quivering mess by his hands once more. He puts my cock back in my trousers and zips me back up. I feel so powerless that I can't even speak. He is standing so close to me, his fingers trailing down my face and he stares at me with such a look that it takes my breath away. Before I can even muster up a word he has consumed my mouth again, his hunger for me is just as raw as it used to be. I kiss him back with equal hunger, a passion that I've only ever known with him, a desire that nothing can disperse. A love like none I've ever known or ever want to know.

The bell is ringing again; it's like being back at school. I feel him pull away, but I can't let go not yet. I try to hold on to this moment, I want to vanish inside of it, but reality soon hits when he starts walking away again. My mouth moves to speak but the words just won't come out. He turns and looks at me once more and then he dissapears and I drop to the floor because I feel sick that he is gone. Gone again, gone from my life and there is nothing that I can do about it.

 **This will probably only have two or three chapters. Really didn't want to start anything else when I still have some to get finished, but Oh well. Hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading RuthyRoo** **xxxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**It Will Never Be the End**

 **Chapter Two**

 **Oh where am I even going with this lol xxx**

 **Obviously Ste hasn't got HIV in this fic…anyway please enjoy next instalment. Big hugs Ruthyroo xxxx**

It took me a while to pick myself up from the floor, I hadn't expected that. I thought that maybe if we did bump into each other that we'd have a few words to say, but not that…not here. I mean what was he thinking? He must've known how I'd feel afterwards. He knows me, knows how I work and knows how much I once loved him…still love him. He didn't even speak one word to me, I mean what was all that about? Don't get me wrong it felt amazing to be with him, but now I have to go back to my normal life where he is just a memory.

The bus ride home was a busy one, but I was so lost in my thoughts that it didn't really bother me. I thought about how I could get to see him again and if he would try his best to see me. I thought about how good it felt to be intimate with him again after so long apart and I thought about how hard it was gonna be to act like this hasn't fucked with my head to John Paul. He is paranoid enough as it is and I know he will ask me twenty questions when I get home. Maybe I should stay on the bus and keep going, leave the life that right now I want to run and hide from.

I was wrong it was more like forty questions waiting for me when I got home. Of course I lied and a little too well I might add, but it was the only way to get John Paul off my back. I hated giving him a kiss, feeling his lips on mine and not Brendan's. It felt like I was being disloyal. I don't even know why I bother being in another relationship, because it just doesn't work. After a few more lies I head to the bathroom from a shower. I don't really want to wash Brendan from my body, but I need to be alone right now.

Thoughts of him invade my brain the minute I step into the shower. I think of him and how beautiful he looked, how much I wanted to please him back. I can see him in my head and he has his perfect mouth around my cock and I'm hard again now. The water feels lush on my skin and as I lather the shower gel up onto my body I imagine it's his hands on me. It feels like he's here with me for real now and how I wish he was. I touch myself in a desperate state, needing this release more than ever. I moan a little hoping John Paul can't hear and minute's later I'm exploding into my hand.

I get cleaned up and make my way to the kitchen, an orgasm always makes me hungry and I've had two today. I'm picking at ham from the fridge when I feel John Pauls hands on me. I almost cringe at his touch and part of me wants to tell him the truth. He asks me if I'm okay and then asks me for the fifth time if I'd seen Brendan today. I tell him no, but I know he doesn't believe me and I guess I can't blame him…he knows how much Brendan meant to me. I make my excuses, tell him I've got a headache and go to bed. For the first time in a long while I'm excited for tomorrow.

I'm early when I arrive at the prison, but I can't stop thinking about Brendan and I need to compose myself before I go inside. I only have one job on my list of things to do today, working in the library and I doubt that Brendan will come anywhere near the place. There is no one here whatsoever and I have to organise the books and clean anything that needs cleaning. I think that this is going to be a long old day. After an hour of not seeing a soul, a few prisoners come in with books to return. I get a few cheeky comments from one of them while the other one is a bit full on for my liking.

He grabs at my arm and calls me darling and I try my hardest to fob him off without making him agitated. He looks like trouble with a capital T and I'm beginning to wonder if I should call for someone. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a little scared, but all I have to do is press a button and I will have back up immediately. If I do call for someone though I won't be able to work on my own and that means not being able to see Brendan. I warn him, tell him that I will report him, but he just laughs in my face. He has teeth missing and his breath smell likes shit. He edges closer and I turn away from his eerie stare until I hear Brendan's voice.

" _Step away from him knuckles"_

"What's it to you Brady."

" _Never mind what it is to me, just get the fuck out of here. You really don't wanna make me angry…don't you remember last time?"_

"I was just playing, no harm done."

" _Well go play somewhere else and take your sidekick with you."_

Brendan makes his way over to me and I'm Literally shaking inside. How does he even know I'm in here?

" _Steven, are you okay?"_

"Yes…I'm fine thanks to you. I had it though, it was all under control."

" _Yeah? It didn't look that way."_

"Aren't you even going to even ask me why I'm in here?"

" _Stealing wasn't it? Community service? Yeah I asked around. I've missed you Steven."_

"You don't get to say things like that to me anymore, you have no right."

He steps closer to me and I move back slightly, I want to touch him more than anything in the world, but I'm afraid. My head is messed up and I don't think I could stand to say goodbye again.

" _Why are you moving away from me?"_

"Because we shouldn't be doing this Brendan. I'm getting married soon."

"… _what! Again Steven? Who to this time?"_

"John Paul…the guy you fucked in Dublin, it's ironic; don't you think?"

" _Then I'm happy for you Steven, you deserve someone nice that's why I did what I did. I knew you'd get over me and fall in love again, it's who you are."_

This time it's Brendan stepping away, but I want to pull him back closer to me. I want to tell him how much I still love him and that I'd give everything up just to be with him. He is turning away from me now and I'm scared that if he walks out of the door that I'll never see him again. He looks broken, but he's only gotta look at me to see that I am broken too. I need him now and in my life forever.

"Brendan don't go, please."

" _What do you want Steven?"_

"You…I want you."

He walks over to the door and I think he's gonna go, but he doesn't, he locks it instead. I don't even know how he manages to do the things he does in here, but I'm glad he does. I watch intently as he makes his way over to me and I'm consumed with emotion because I know what's coming next. He stands so close to me, I can feel his breath on my face and the way he looks at me is insane. He makes me feel so wanted. He brushes his hand through my hair and trails his fingers down the side of my face. I close my eyes at his touch and my body is responding to him already.

His mouth finds its way to my neck and he places kisses there, slow and gentle. I feel myself falling in love with him all over again and I know he feels the same. His lips finally connect with mine and I melt into him. I can feel the hair tickling my skin from his tash and I know that there is nothing better than this. His hands are all over me now and I'm moaning and grunting as he grabs hold of every part of me. He rubs my cock through my trousers and I do the same to him. I have to be with him, I have to feel him inside me.

We both stop all contact when we hear someone trying to open the library door. Brendan rushes over and tries to open it; I guess he's making out its stuck or jammed. I watch as Brendan cleverly and quietly opens the door and to my horror about ten men come inside. We both have to hide our erections from the group of unsuspecting inmates which is really quite funny. Brendan grabs a book from the shelf and sits down to read, I can't help but laugh at his choice…Fly fishing. I help the inmates with their books and then I sit down away from Brendan, but I don't take my eyes off him…not for a second.

 **Please Review xxxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**It Will Never Be the End**

 **Chapter Three :)**

 **So I don't actually know where I'm going with this…all I know is that I really want to finish all my uncompleted Fics. It's hard to focus on our beloved Stendan now sadly.**

 **To anyone who is still reading thanks xxxxx**

My heart is still pounding from the excitement that Is Brendan Brady and even though he must sense my eyes burning into everything he is; he doesn't look up from his reading material…not once. I wonder what could be so fascinating about Fly Fishing anyway? The hour that passes feels like a week and I am struggling to keep my emotions in check. I cough loudly hoping that he will look up and catch my eye, but he continues to blank me out like I'm not there. Brendan was always good at pretending that I didn't exist and part of me should be used to it, but I'm not…it still hurts even though I know how hard it is to be together in here.

I'm doing community service in a prison where the love of my life is an inmate...you couldn't write this shit. The library stays pretty busy for the morning and although the inmates come and go, Brendan doesn't move. I guess that's just his way of being close to me. I look over to some other inmates who seem to have clocked me watching Brendan. They whisper between themselves and laugh loudly at my expense, but I don't care…they can say what they like I can't help myself when it comes to Brendan. Brendan on the other hand is somewhat different to me. He can obviously here the other inmates too and I watch with a heavy heart as he returns his book and makes his way out of the library. I wonder if that's the last I will see of him today?

I try my hardest to not think of him, but it's difficult and now he's back in my life I want him to stay this time. It's not gonna be easy but I can't lose him again…I won't. My life is more complicated now, but I owe it to myself to follow my heart and give us the chance I should've that day he went away. He didn't want me to wait for him and I know he was only thinking of me, but that's not his choice to make anymore. The day has dragged so far…well since Brendan left anyway and when the bell goes for lunch I couldn't be happier with the hour that I now have to myself. It gives me time to think about how I'm going to sort my so called life out.

The library duties are boring and there is only so much you can do in here, but I try to make the best of it. Most of the inmates have left their books on the tables so I wonder through the aisles and return them to their rightful place. I hear the door open and I look to see that Brendan has returned. I make my way over to him and he does the same to me…we're like magnets, completely drawn to one another. He stares at me…really stares, like he is looking into my soul and I know that he has come back to finish what he started earlier on.

"You back for more Fly Fishing?"

" _No steven, I'm back for you."_

His lips are on mine now and I kiss him back with such a force that I almost shock myself. I want him so bad that I don't care where we are or what we're doing…I only see him now. His tongue is diving deep into my mouth and I'm swimming in his glory and all that he is. We devour each other with a desperation and passion that I have never known and I want this feeling to last forever. His hands are all over me now and mine are all over him. Clothes are stripped and thrown frantically on the floor…almost like they are part of the prison…keeping us from each other. It feels so good to feel his naked form and in that moment I am nothing but his Steven.

He moves me over to a nearby table and bends me over it…I am so excited that I can hardly contain myself. He spreads my legs and I hear him moan at the sight that is before him. I feel his fingers trail down my back and his touch feels so good on my warm skin. He teases my hole with his fingers and I am so hard for him that I almost explode. He drops to his knees and replaces his fingers with his tongue…taking me to places I've only ever been with him. I know he is preparing me for what's to come and I can't wait to feel the force of him inside me. It's been way too long.

He eases his way into me gently at first as if to savour this moment and I want him to…I never want this to be over. His hands are holding on to my waist and as his rhythm intensifies my grip on the table hardens. He feels so good and he thrusts into me wildly as if we are in the privacy of our own home, not a prison. He fucks me hard and that's just how I want to be fucked by him…he knows me and once again I am putty in his hands. He explodes into me and I can already feel the effects of the come down off this amazing high. After he catches his breath he pulls out of me and turns me around to face him. I am breathing heavily and still showing off my hardened cock. He kisses me once more then breaks our kiss to finish me off with his mouth. It doesn't take me long to lose my hardness and I am amazed at the talents this beautiful man has. He drinks me dry and returns his lips to mine…puling me forever closer.

"Wow…that was unbelievable Brendan."

" _You know me Steven…I aim to please."_

"We'd better get dressed though, I mean anyone could walk in."

" _Let me just look at you a bit longer Steven. You don't know how many times I've dreamed of this moment."_

"We can be together now though can't we? I know we can't have this but I will wait for you."

" _Nothing's changed Steven…nothing okay?"_

"What do you mean? Of course it has. You can't walk away from this…I won't let you this time."

" _Do you really wanna waste your life waiting for me Steven?"_

"Waiting for you is not wasting my life…walking away from you and living without would be. I love you…always have, always will."

" _I love you too…more than you will ever know, but you really need to think about this."_

"I know what I want Bren and I'm not saying goodbye this time. Do you hear me?"

" _Okay Steven I hear you. Now let's get dressed before the bookworms return."_

"You won't leave me again will ya? Say you promise."

" _Steven."_

"Promise me?!"

" _I promise."_

 **Really don't know where I'm going with this one but will probably wrap it up in next chapter. Thank you for reading. Please review** **:) xxxxxxxx**


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